Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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