You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
