Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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