Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
