Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
