I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
