Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We left the knife in your bed.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
