I think i sorta joined a cult last night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
