and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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