So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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