using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
