so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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