how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
