Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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