Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"

Fav 8 1448 3364
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?

Fav 18 931 4247
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

Fav 8 1367 3787
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

Fav 51 1395 9271
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love

Fav 4 3578 879
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

Fav 31 4786 5680
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

Fav 36 1534 8847
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

Fav 0 752 1129
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.

Fav 1 36 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT