Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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