Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
