We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
