i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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