he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
