So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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