you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I want her autograph on my taint
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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