um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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