Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
