Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
