We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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