I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
And then he peed in my hair
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