We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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