no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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