Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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