After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
