what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Green mimosas i think yes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
