I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
