so that wasnt chicken after all
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
