so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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