Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
