4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
is it fun? or sober?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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