Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
