just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
