I am in a vortex of obligation.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
