We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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