Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Someone signed my nipple.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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