Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
