Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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