haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
These tits shall not be calmed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
