I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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