Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize