she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
