she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
