OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
