dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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