Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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