youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
