I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW