You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Bring me that man meat
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.