I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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