Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize