yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
