On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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