i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
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Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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