Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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