There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
