omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize