Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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