i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
