I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
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Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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