My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
